I’m a fan of NPR’s news quiz, “Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me,” in which the moderator puts to a celebrity guest three possible answers to a question about a news story. Only one of the answers is correct, but it is the panel’s job to couch all three answers in facetious terms, so that they sound equally outrageous to the guest.

So I offer this one to the NPR quiz show:

Eric Massa, a Democratic congressman from upstate New York, resigned in disgrace yesterday. Among many charges was that he sexually harrassed male staff members. When Larry King asked him straight out, “are you gay,” Massa refused to answer, implying that the question itself was inappropriate and therefore unfriendly to gays. One of the behaviors Massa was accused of by his former shipmates in the Navy was “snorkeling.”

The question. Snorkeling is a) The practice of placing your testicles over the eyes of your partner, forming a mask. Then the breathing apparatus is formed by placing the end of your penis into the receiver’s mouth. b) The act of drinking one’s own cum through a straw after ejaculating in your partner’s rectum. Or is it c), completely penetrating ones head into another person’s anal cavity and breathing by putting two straws in your nose

According the the Urban Dictionary, all three answers are correct. In fact, the dictionary presents a total of eleven answers, all pretty much plumbing this fascinating territory.

If you wonder how a story regarding the seamy behavior of a nonentity can command the 24 hour news cycle, join the club. (Although I did enjoy watching the air leak out of Glen Beck, who had such high hopes his Massa interview would demonstrate the perfidy of the Democratic Party). To see what a difference 40 years can make, watch “The Most Dangerous Man in America,” the documentary about Daniel Ellsberg. It’s so energizing to see the press stand up to corruption. Ellsberg, the New York Times, and about seventeen other big city dailies brought Nixon down.

Eric Massa’s crimes are fun to hear about — for fifteen minutes or so. But a congressional sex scandal? News Flash, it’s not news.